For many people, one of the hardest things to do is say no. If you’re a self-proclaimed people pleaser, you are certainly not alone.
Saying no is difficult. Saying yes is easy. It avoids awkward conversations and the need to explain yourself. You can make people happy by saying yes. The problem with this is that you end up cheating yourself.
Learning how to say no allows you to prioritize your time and energy. It is not an insult to the other person. It does not mean that they don’t matter. But if you say yes to everything, you’ll never get a chance to focus on yourself and your own priorities.
Today I’d like to give you some tips for learning how to say no more often, as well as how to communicate “no” effectively. For more insight into why you might be struggling to give yourself the time and energy you deserve, book an appointment with life coach Jack Rourke today.
Tips for Saying No More Often – and With Grace
Setting boundaries is essential for healthy relationships. With work deadlines, social engagements, family responsibilities and your own self-care, you must learn how to say no in order to prevent burnout. We all have 24 hours in a day. How will you spend yours?
When you learn to say no to the things that don’t give you joy or help you reach your goals, you actually build a life where you can say yes more often! Here are some tips to help you with this.
Practice Saying No
One of the best ways to get you in the habit of saying no is by practicing it. There is no one way to do this, so find a way that works for you. Here are a few examples you can try:
- Now isn’t a great time. Can we reconnect on (insert day)?
- Let me think about this and I’ll get back to you.
- I’m not an expert on this. Why don’t you try X instead?
Be Firm and Clear
Over time, saying no will help you establish stronger boundaries in your relationships. However, for now, make sure you are firm and clear in your delivery because people may try to push you. You can still be polite to show that you are apologetic, but the firmness shows that you’re not going to change your mind.
Avoid Giving Excuses
Do you feel the need to explain yourself? You shouldn’t. You really don’t owe anyone an explanation. Saying something along the lines of, “This doesn’t fit with my schedule,” is enough. If someone pressures you, they’re being disrespectful of your time.
Offer Something Else
If you really would like to say yes to something but can’t, consider offering a lesser commitment that you can do. For example, if a friend asks you to help them move into their apartment, you can say, “I can’t help you move but I can bring you dinner in the evening.” This way, you can help on your terms.
The more you get used to saying no, the easier it will be. The best part is that you’ll have more time to dedicate to yourself and your goals rather than spending your time and energy on things that don’t make you happy. Schedule an appointment with Jack Rourke for a deeper look at yourself and what could be holding you back from reaching your full potential.