Whether you plan on celebrating the holidays in person or virtually, there’s a good chance that you’ll find yourself in the middle of uncomfortable, embarrassing questions that you would rather not answer. While we agree that some topics are better left out of the holidays, you don’t have control over what others say and do.
Unfortunately, the nicest dinners and gatherings can turn ugly when the nosy questions, comments and unsolicited advice start coming. Things just aren’t as funny in real life as they are in the movies. Thankfully, a little preparation goes a long way in maintaining your composure over the holidays.
Below are some of our favorite tips for handling intrusive questions and comments about your personal life.
Create a Plan
Having a plan is important, as this will help you feel more in control of your emotions. Spend a little time thinking about some of the questions that people are likely to ask and the best ways to respond.
Keep in mind that when a family member keeps asking probing questions, it has more to do with them than you. Nevertheless, it’s still bothersome, especially if you’re vulnerable to certain topics. It’s important to see your family, but it’s also important to take care of yourself and set boundaries.
Choose Confident Responses
When you do respond, make sure your response is confident – even a bit of humor can be helpful. For example, if someone asks if you’re single, you can say, “I’m so happy living life right now, I don’t need anyone! If it happens, it happens!”
It’s natural to become defensive to these questions, but doing so gives people the opportunity to offer suggestions to “improve” yourself. Answering confidently shows that you’re not looking for advice on how to live your life.
Change Your Perspective
Rather than taking your family’s questions and comments personally, remember that they are coming from a different set of experiences and social pressures. Just because they think a certain way of living is right doesn’t mean you have to. You are your own person and your life does not have to fit within their expectations to be meaningful and valued.
Agree and Redirect
Depending on your family, it may be best to just agree and redirect the conversation somewhere else. For example, you can say, “I can’t wait to have kids too one day. It will be fun.” Then switch to an easy, low-stress topic so you can get the focus off yourself. Where does everyone plan on shopping this year? What streaming service is your favorite? Are the holiday decorations already up?
Talk to a Life Coach
Oftentimes, the reason why certain questions make us uneasy is because we are self-conscious about them. If you’ve been trying to make a relationship work, you don’t care to be reminded of your love life, or lack thereof. Life is a journey, not a race, so you’ll have to continue being patient. You can also talk to a life coach who can help you get a better understanding of your issues and how to see more growth.
Jack Rourke is a trusted psychic in Los Angeles and New York who can help you live your best life. His intuitive abilities will help you identify the struggles you are facing and how to overcome them. Contact Jack today for an appointment – it’s fast and easy, and scheduling is available 24/7.